Separating is never easy, divorce or breakup, but doing it with kids involved is a different level of difficulty.
Co-Parenting with an ex isn't always like you see in happy story movies. It isn't open door policies, it isn't laughter as a huge group around a dinner table, it isn't schedule agreements without disagreement.
Sometimes, if not all the time, it is fighting and arguing. It is crying over the stress of the disagreements. It is counting every hour or minute of time of the child with the other parent. It is hating yourself for what your child is having to go through.
-------------------- The past 6 years co-parenting with 2 different co-parents hasn't been a walk in the park. We have experienced every spectrum of ups and downs. We have gone through phases of not talking to the co-parent, only talking through lawyers. We have argued over every single minute of the schedule. We have fought about holidays and how we are each parenting. We have also had times of joining our full families for the holiday together, to celebrate birthdays together. We have sat together and enjoyed conversation while at sporting practices and games. We have thrown black and white schedules away and modified the schedule for what is best for the child. We have joined for bi-weekly dinners.
Our current co-parenting situation is not perfect with both co-parents, but we still dream and pray that one day we will get there with both co-parents. It is stressful and hard and there is nothing more in this world that we want other then our kids having the best life possible and that comes with calm and cordial co-parenting.
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I say all of this because this morning calmed my heart so much for even just a moment. While we have really really figured things out with 1 co-parent, the other co-parent we are still trying to figure things out with and find that balance. Despite all of the issues we face our 3 families, my husband's family, my family, and the co-parents family, were able to gather and celebrate an event with one of our kiddos in peace.
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Those are the moments that I wish could happen all the time. For the kids. Do we wish we could have 24/7 with the kids - ABSOLUTELY but it isn't fair. Kids in separated homes have multiple loved ones and each and every one of them are just as important as the next one. We all need to remember to put our egos and emotions to the side and remember that this child did not choose the situation that they are in. They want love from all of their family and they could careless about all of the other details.
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So take the stand and be the bigger person. Hold your tongue if the comments aren't needed. Try and see things from another perspective and not just yours, try from your child's view. Remember that your child has many loved ones, even if they aren't the same as your loved ones.
<3 Today 7 (SEVEN) grandparents gathered as one big group to celebrate their love for one child regardless of history.
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